Laws of Shul
1) A Beit HaKnesset and a Beit HaMidrash are referred to by the Navi as miniature sanctuaries (Yechezkel 11:16): [Therefore say [to the Jewish people] "Thus said Hashem: When I shall have distanced them amongst the nations, and when I shall hae dispersed them in the lands] I shall be for them a miniature sanctuary [in the lands to which they will go]" which Chazal explain in Gemara Megilla 21 as a referrence to {the Divine Presence in} the Shuls and Beit Midrashot. The Poskim write that the Mitzvah MiDeorita to revere the Sanctuary (Vayikrah 19:30) applies today to Shuls and Batei Midrashot.
It is thus important to revere Shuls and Batei Midrashot, and to behave in them with awe. Those who behave in an irreverent manner and joke around in them are chastised by the Navi (Yeshayahu 1:12) '[When you come to see Me] who requests this from you, to profane {lit. to tread down} My courts?" The Zohar Hakadosh describes the great punishment for this 'He who speaks {of idle and profane matters} in the Shul has no portion in the Hashem of Israel.
The Ben Ish Hai elucidates this Pasuk using the explanation given by the Afiqe Yehudah to what Chazal say in Gemara Sanhedrin 102b "Ahav {King of Israel} renounced the G-d of Israel." The Afiqe Yehudah explains that Hashem is referred to as the G-d of Israel because the Jewish people do not have an archangel acting as an intermediary between themselves and Hashem, whereas the other nations of the world have an archangel over them, and, with respect to them, He is referred to as the G-d of gods {i.e. the true G-d who is above the archangels}
Thus, the Navi's declaration (Yechezkel 11:16) that the Divine Presence rests in every Shul to witness to the fact that the Jewish people have no intermediary between themselves and Hashem. If someone behaves irreverently in the Shul, he appears to renounce Hashem's presence there, and he is punished accordingly by not having a portion in the title that the Jewish people have been found worthy of bearing: {Hashem's people}
2) Even though speaking about childish matters with children, or speaking about business matters with others is not exactly idle speech, such conversation is still forbidden in the Shul.(Eshel Avraham 151:1)
3) It is not permitted to eat and drink in the Shul and Batei Midrashot, or to relax, or take refuge in them from the sun or rain. Some Mefarshim even forbid drinking water in them, and it is correct to refrain from doing so where possible. However, those who come to the Shul some hours before Mincha to study, and are unable to remain there without drinking on a hot summer day, need not abide by the more stringent ruling.
4) One may not make calculations in a Shul or Beit HaMidrash unless they relate to a Mitzvah, such as Tzedaka or the release of captives.
The Ben Ish Hai writes in his work Mekabtziel that calculations pertaining to the taxes which must be paid by the community to the state should not be made in the Shul or Beit HaMidrash. Similarly, meetings of the leaders of the community to plan improvements in communal affairs should preferably be held in a private house, since a certain amount of idle talk is inevitable at such meetings.
No banquet or meal at which people could become drunk may be held in a Shul or Beit HaMidrash, even if it is an honor of a Mitzvah, such as a Siyum.
In a responsa in his work Rav Pealim (Vol II, Orach Chayim, Perek Chaf Bet) The Ben Ish Hai concludes that it is not permitted to learn to read and write foreign languages in a Shul or Beit HaMidrash. But it is permitted to learn to write in the Hebrew cursive script. in a Beit HaMidrash.
In that same responsum, He cited [a ruling of Rav Hai Gaon (the original is in Sefer Ha'Ittim) cited in Nachalat Yisrael that it is permitted to teach children to write Arabic and Math together with their studies of Torah in the Shul, although to teach them only secular studies there is not correct; and, if it is possible to avoid teaching non-Jewish children in the Shul without incurring ill-feeling, one should do so. The Nachalat Yisrael derives from this responsum that it is permitted to teach both Jewish and non-Jewish children secular studies in the Shul] The Ben Ish Hai questions the explanation of the Nachalat Yisrael [explaining that Rav Hai Gaon never meant that studies may be undertaken in the Shul itself, but only in rooms adjoining the Shul. In the Shul itself it is certainly and forbidden. After writing this the Ben Ish Hai obtained a copy of Vayomer Yitzchak, and found that he also reaches the same conclusion as himself, and even forbids learning Hebrew script in a Shul.]
5) Scholars and their disciples are permitted to eat and drink in a Shul if it is otherwise not possible. However, they may eat and drink in a Beit HaMidrash even if it is possible to eat elsewhere, and they may even take a long sleep in the Shul.
Only eating, drinking and sleeping are permitted in the Batei Midrashot, but all other functions are fobidden. Smoking is considered like eating and drinking and is, therefore, permitted. However, the Shul caretaker may not smoke whilst in the Shul.
6) Healthy people who use a walking stick only in the winter to help them pass through the muddy streets may not take it into the Shul when they enter to pray. Instead, they should leave it in the cloak-room. However, someone who is unwell or old may take the walking stick to his place in the Shul.
One should not enter the Shul or Beit HaMidrash with muddy shoes, but one should wipe them before entering.
7) If one needs to enter a Shul or Beit Midrash for any reason other than to pray or learn Torah, such as to call someone, one should first recite a Perek of Tehillim, or some other Torah learning, and then call the person. If one is unable to recite something, one should wait a short while, either standing or sitting, since that is also a Mitzvah, as it is written (Tehillim 84:5): "Fortunate are those who sit in Your house..." where the word "sit" is to be understood as meaning "spend time."
Laws of Kriyat Shema
1) (There should be a total of two hundred and forty-eight words in the three paragraphs of the Kriyat Shema) The number is calculated as follows: the first Pasuk has six words, and so does the Pasuk that starts Baruch Shem...; the first paragraph has forty-two words; the second has seventy-two words, up to Noten Lachem; from Vesamtem to the end of the paragraph there are fifty words; the third paragraph contains sixty-nine words. All together, there are two hundred and forty-five words. In order to complete the two hundred forty-eight words, it is customary to repeat, Hashem Elokeichem Emet.
This number has immense Kabbalistic significance, and everyone should repeat those last three words each time he recties Kriyat Shema. According to the Kabbalistic concepts underlying this number, it is customary that the Sheliach Tzibur repeats those words aloud, and those praying with him have in mind to be included with him. Thus, when one prays with a minyan, one need not repeat the words oneself, but rather hear them from the Sheliach Tzibur.
In his work Mekabtziel the Ben Ish Hai concludes that, if one has not finished reciting Kriyat Shema, when the Sheliach Tzibur repeats the words Hashem Elokeichem Emet, one must repeat them oneself when one finishes Kriyat Shema, since one must be either heard, or recited, at the end of Kriyat Shema, not in the middle. (This ruling applies also to Kriyat Shema of Arvit as well as to Kriyat Shema Shel Al HaMita, which is never recited with a minyan)
[Od Yosef Hai Parashat Shemot 11] After the Hazzan repeats the three words, the congregation must continue from the following word, V'Emunah at Arvit and Vayazeev at Shacharit and not repeat the word Emet, which the Hazzan has just said, since one may not repeat any word of the Kriyat Shema.
2) Although the obligation M'Deorita to recite the Kriyat Shema is only twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening, Chazal have instituted two more obligations each day, in order to meet certain Kabbalistic requirements.
The four times are during the evening prayers; before going to sleep; before reciting the Korbanot in the morning prayers, during the morning prayer.
In previous generations, the extremely pious used to recite the Kriyat Shema of the morning prayer just before sunrise, in order to finish it with the sunrise. Because of their extreme piety and saintliness they were able to complete the necessary Kabbalistic meditations with just one Kriyat Shema, and they did not need to recite the Kriyat Shema of the Korbanot before it. However, nowadays, not everyone is capable of meeting the great requirements for this, and even those who recite Kriyat Shema before sunrise must recite it twice, once before Korbanot and again in order of prayer just before the Amidah.
3) The best possible time to recite Kriyat Shema is just prior to sunrise and, even though we are not on the great spiritual level of previous generations nowadays, it is a very great Mitzvah and those who are able to do so will receive a great reward.
One should attempt to recite the entire Kriyat Shema, with its Brachot before sunrise, in order to be able to commence the Amidah at sunrise. Even if one is unable to do this, one should nevertheless try to recite it as early as possible, as one should attempt to fulfill every Mitzvah as early as possible.
The Bet David (Perek 36, Daf 11) calculates the time of sunrise as an hour before the sun is visible over the horizon.
In his work Rav Pe'alim(Vol II, Orah Hayyim, Perek Gimmel) the Ben Ish Hai cites this ruling and comments that the support is inconclusive, he also quotes the commentaries Minchat Kohen and the Aseret Rosh to Brachot (Pg 6) who, it appears do not agree with the Bet David either.
(He also cites proof that he heard in support of the Bet David that Chazal have said that, at midday (i.e. six hours after sunrise) the sun is directly overhead. In actual fact, this can be seen five and a half hours after the [accepted sunrise, when the] sun becomes visible above the horizon. This would suggest that the sunrise referred to by Chazal is [half an hour] before the sunrise that we accept. However, since this is only true in the summer, but not in the winter, it is not conclusive support.
Neither do any of the great Poskim HaAchronim quote this ruling of the Bet David with the possible exception of the Gaon Chida ztl (Mahaziq Bracha Perek 58, and in his annotations to the Zohar Hakadosh Vol II, Pg 196) However, these are only references and do not indicate at all whether he actually agrees with the Bet David. On the contrary, in his work Yosef Omez (76:3) he writes 'However I have heard that the great and saintly R' Yosef Qobo ztl was accustomed to follow that practice [i.e. of the Bet David]' from which the Ben Ish Hai deduces that, in the time of the Chida ztl the custom in the Holy Cities of Yerushalayim and Hebron was not in accordance with the Bet David.
There, He comes to the conclusiion that the custom of the Kabbalists in Yerushalayim to follow the ruling of the Bet David has only recently been introduced. Moreover the Gaon and Hasid R' Eliyahu Mani wrote to him that, although the majority of the community follows the ruling of the Bet David. there are some who do not pray the Amidah until the sun is visible above the horizon, as it is written in the work Divrei Yosef(Schwartz) pg 175, the Ben Ish Hai, says, He too is particular to finish reciting Kriyat Shema six minutes before the sun becomes visible, but sometimes, if the Sheliach Tzibbur prays quickly, it can be ten or even twelve minutes before the sun becomes visible, but it does not bother him; conversely, it can sometimes take longer, until the sun is already visible. The Ben Ish Hai constantly prayed that he should be found worthy of reciting it at the exact time, because it is something which requires heavenly assistance.
In Baghdad, the ruling of the Bet David has recently become adopted with regard to Kriyat Shema and the Amidah but in the Ben Ish Hai's opinion, those who are particular to commence the Amidah as the sun becomes visible, and to commence Kriyat Shema six minutes before that are certainly acting correctly.
[Od Yosef Hai 16 The Rema ztl rules (Orah Hayyim 58:1) that sunrise is one hour before the sun becomes visible above the horizon, but the Poskim Ha'Achronim have had great difficulty in clarifying the exact meaning of this ruling, and some even offer an alternative reading in the text of the Rema ztl]
Laws of Hand-Washing in the Morning
1) One must wash one's hands after sleeping because, during sleep, an aura of impurity settles upon the hands, and it can only be removed with water. It is explained in Yefeh Sha'ah that, in reality, a similar aura also descends upon the feet, but we are not able to remove it; this was only possible in the Beit Hamikdash where, through its extreme sanctity, the Kohanim were able to achieve this when they prepared themselves each morning by washing their hands and feet (Shemot 30:19-21) However, on Erev Shabat, we are also able to remove it through the sanctity of the approaching Shabat.
In order to remove the aura of impurity from the hands, they must be washed alternately -- no consecutively (Shaar HaKavvanot). The correct sequence of washing one's hands in the morning is as follows: one picks up the vessel in one's right hand, places it in one's left hand, and pours water over the right hand; then one passes the vessel back to one's right hand, and pours water over the left hand. This sequence should be repeated again twice, so that in all, water is poured over each hand three times.
[Od Yosef Hai 7] It is our custom to pour water two or three times over each hand to make them wet, before washing them in the prescribed sequence because, if the hands are dry, the water initially tends to flow off them without making them wet.
Some people are particular to put the vessel down on the ground after holding it in the left hand, so as not to take it directly from the left hand, in accordance with the Kabbalistic concept that the left hand must always be subservient to the right, like a servant before his master.
2) The entire hand should be washed up to the wrist. On Kippur and on Tisha B'Av, one may wash the fingers only up to the knuckles.
(The reason is given by R' Yaakov Zemah ztl that, on Kippur, because of the day's extreme sanctity, the aura is diminished; and on Tisha B'Av because of the day's tragic associations, this relatively smaller aura goes virtually unnoticed, and thus requires less correction.)
3) Our teacher and master the Arizal requires that after having washed one's hands alternately three times each, one should rub them together.
(Although it would appear from the words of our teacher the Arizal that it is sufficient to do so only once, our teacher the Rashash ztl writes that it must be done three times, and even gives the Kabbalistic meditations for each one. One should follow the ruling of our teacher the Rashash ztl [even if one is unable to have in mind the meditations.])
It further appears to me that when one is rubbing the hands together, the fingers should be held straight up, and not be bent.
4) After having rubbed one's hands together, one should keep one's fingers pointing upwards, and lift up one's hands level with one's head -- or at least level with one's face.
The Bracha Al Netilat Yadayim should be recited immediately after lifting up one's hands, in order to comply with the requirement of the Zohar Hakadosh that the hands not be lifted up unnecessarily, and the hands should remain lifted until one completes the Bracha.
(This is the reason for the wording of the Bracha Al Netilat Yadayim (on lifting up the hands) and not Al Richitzat Yadayim (on washing the hands) as in (Yeshayahu 63:9) 'And he will lift them, and he will hear them forever)
The Kabbalah requires that the elbows be kept in front of the body when lifting up one's hands; and our teacher and master Rabeinu Chayim Vital zt; writes (Shaar HaKavvanot and Olat Tamid) that one should also cup one's hands whilst reciting the Bracha, to symbolise receiving the purity which descends upon oneself when one washes one's hands.
5) According to our teacher and master the Arizal, the aura of Tumah is completely removed by the act of washing the hands, and therefore one must recite the Bracha before drying the hands (Siddur of our teacher and master the Rashash ztl) This ruling is accepted, even though it does not concur with that of certain Poskim who are of the opinion that the aura of Tumah is only removed once the hands have been dried and, therefore, the Bracha must be recited after drying the hands.
6) Our Teacher ztl writes (Olat Tamid 17) that one must wash one's hands as soon as one awakes, before touching one's clothing. In cold weather, some people put on their socks before they get out of bed to wash their hands. This is incorrect, and they should be reprimanded for it.
[Od Yosef Hai 10-11] Clothes and vessels of wood and metal cannot become impure through contact with unwashed hands.(Kesher Gadol 2:60)
(If they would become impure, the vessel which holds the water to wash from would become impure as soon as one touches it. Moreover, we find that one may touch one's clothes, in order to scratch oneself before washing one's hands.
Although some Authorities actually forbid touching one's clothes, this cannot be correct, since it is virtually impossible to avoid touching them and, if it were true, the bedclothes would thus also become impure every night.)
The Zohar Hakadosh also forbids walking four amot without washing one's hands in the morning. Thus, one should prepare a vessel full of water to wash from, and another to wash into, at one's bedside before retiring, so that one should not have to walk more than four amot to wash in the morning.
[Od Yosef Hai 2] The water with which one washes should preferably remain covered throughout the night.
(The author of the Shalme Zibbur was asked whether the water must be covered. He answers that, although it is not listed as one of things which renders water Pasul for washing one's hands, even in an area where snakes are found, nevertheless the Be'er Hativ (Shulchan Aruch, Yore De'ah, Chapter 116) writes in the name of the Gaon R' Sheftl ztl not to wash one's hands with water that had been uncovered throughout the night. One should certainly not use it to rinse one's mouth.
The Annotations to Shalme Zibbur (18b) adds that this ruling is also to be found in the Knesset HaGedolah, citing the Sefer Hasidim, Every G-d fearing and meticulous person should, before retiring for the night, prepare two vessels, one full of water and the second empty, beside his bed. The full vessel should be stood in the empty one and covered; ideally, the empty one should be slightly broken [but not so much that the impure water should leak out]
The Hesed L'Alafim (10) adds, quoting the Kise Elyahu: It is forbidden to wash with water which has been left uncovered overnight because it is dangerous. This is particularly the case in the Holy City, where snakes and scorpions are common, (as ruled by the Pri Chadash ztl) He also adds that water that has been left uncovered should not be poured onto a place where people walk, nor should it be used to wash with, not even to wash the floor. Neither should it be given to any animal to drink, either one's own or somebody else's it may, however be given to a cat.
The Hesed L'Alafim writes further (citing the Kise Eliyahu) that water, or any other liquid, is only forbidden when left uncovered if there is so little of it that any poison in it would be dangerous. If there is sufficient water to nullify any poison, the water may be used. Nevertheless, a meticulous person should avoid such water also. The Hesed L'Alafim adds that this ruling is also found in the work Batte Knesiyot (Perek 160) and should be accepted against the more stringent ruling implied by the Shalme Zibbur)
Laws Related to Money
1) It is forbidden M'Deorita to ignore a lost article belonging to a Jew, as it is written (Devarim 22:1) "You shall not see your brother's ox or sheep which have become lost, and ignore them." Apart from the prohibition, it also involves the negation of a positive Mitzvah (Sham) "You must certainly return them to your brother" If one takes the lost object with the intention of stealing it and not returning it, one transgresses the prohibitions of (Vayikra 19:13) "You may not steal" as well as (Devarim 22:3) "You may not ignore {it}" However, if one returned it to its owner, one rectifies all these prohibitions.
2) If one finds something which does not have any identifying sign, and is something which the owner would miss immediately, such as money, one may keep it. We reason that the owner became aware of his loss, and despaired of retrieving it, before it was found, and one is thus not obligated to declare the find. Even if one found out later to whom it belonged, one need not return it, although it is a pious act to do so.
3) If one finds something which has an identifying sign, one must announce the find in the Shul, and declare the type of object found. If someone is able to idetify it precisely, one must give it to him. But, if one did not declare the type of object, and someone merely identified the type, it is not sufficient reason to give it to him. Identification must be (something more specific) such as weight, measure or amount.
4) If one finds something which has an identifying sign in a place where the majority of passers-by are non-Jews, one is not obligated to announce it, as it is assumed that it belonged to a non-Jew, and thus belongs to the finder.
However, if the person who lost it comes and proves that it was his by correctly describing it {one is obligated to return it, if it is something which one would not necessarily notice as soon as it is lost}. But, if it is something which one would usually notice as soon as it becomes lost, such as money or a ring, or something carried on one's person, one is not obligated to return it, as it may be assumed that the owner despaired of ever finding it again in a place where the majority of passers-by are not Jewish.
Laws of Rosh Hashana and The Asseret Yimay Teshuvah
1) It is a good practice to fast the day before Rosh Hashana, unless one is extremely weak or old and infirm, neither need children fast. If one did not sleep at all on the night before Rosh Hashana one may eat until daybreak but, if one slept that night, one may not eat from when one wakes up although it is permissible to drink coffee before daybreak.
2) (Although it is customary to blow the Shofar every day except Shabat throughout the month of Elul) it should not be blown on the day before Rosh HaShanah, either at night or during the day. If the person appointed by the community to blow the Shofar wishes to practice, he should do so behind closed doors.
Nifliat Hapayim is not recited on Erev Rosh HaShanah, but Nifilat Hapayim and Vidui are recited at Mincha the day before Erev Rosh HaShanah as on the night of Erev Rosh HaShanah, Vidui and penitential prayers are recited.
It is customary to visit the graveyard on the day before Rosh HaShanah, and to pray at the graves. Nevertheless, one should not pray to the dead, but rather pray that Hashem will give us grace in their merit. When praying at the grave of a Tzaddik, it is permissible to pray that the Neshama of the Tzaddik should pray for oneself for what ever one requests.
It is most important to pray Mincha on the day before Rosh HaShanah with special devotion, as it is the last Tefillah of the year.
3) One should have a haircut the day before Rosh Hashanah, and it is better to do so before midday. When having one's haircut, one should have in mind to fulfill the Mitzvah of not cutting the corners (peot) of one's hair.
[Since white is symbolic of mercy] we dress in white on Rosh Hashanah to demonstrate our faith and hope in Hashem's mercy (according tto the Midrash and cited in the L'vush)
It is customary to immerse oneself in a Mikveh on the day before Rosh Hashanah, in order to rid oneself of the impurity caused by seminal emission, which can even occur unwittingly or when urinating. This purification also assists in receiving the spiritual bounty and sanctity of Rosh Hashanah for a good and peaceful life. One should immerse oneself five times: The first time, one should have in mind to rid oneself of impurity, the second to rid oneself of the impurity caused by anger; the third to pacify the Heavenly judgment; the fourth to rid oneself of weekday influences, and to rid oneself of the previous year's misfortunes; and, lastly, to imbue to sanctity of the Chag.
Women and girls should also immerse themselves [prior to the Chag] They must comb their hair and inspect themselves for anything which might constitute as interposition, although it is not necessary to shave under the armpit or the pubic hair(Matteh Efraim)
If one is unable to immerse oneself in a Mikveh, one should get someone else to pour nine Kabin of water over one's entire body. If one does not have a vessel which can hold that much water at once, it is possible to divide it into three, but not more. It is important to pouring the water from the second vessel before finishing the first [and to begin pouring from the third vessel before finishing the second] (Mikvaot 3 iv; Shulchan Aruch of the Raz zl, Orach Hayim, Perek 606, It should be noted that there is a copyist's mistake in the ruling of the Taz zl Perek 88)
If this is also not possible, one should wash one's hands forty times as follows. One should pour water once over one's right hand having in mind the first letter of the Shem in its numerical value of seventy-two, then again over one's left hand, having in mind the same letter of the Shem, and so on for each of the ten letters of the Shem. One then pours water ten times consecutively over one's right hand, having in mind one of the letters of the Shem, and then again ten times over one's left hand, having again in mind the ten letters of the Shem, in al, forty times.(Emet L'Yaakov, R' Yaakov Nino zl in the section entitled Sfat Emet)
Laws of Tisha B'av
1) Chazal recommend that anyone who has a legal dispute with a non-Jew should try to avoid bringing it to court until the month of Elul. Another opinion requires that one wait only until after Tisha B'Av i.e. after the day after Tisha B'Av (since, in many respects, the Laws of Tisha B'Av apply until the next day.)
The latter opinion is to be followed, particularly since on the fifteenth day of the month one is required to rejoice somewhat, as written in the Zohar Hakadosh (vol II, page 195) and, after that, the month does not revert back to its previous status.
2) Between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av, one should reduce business connected with future festive events, such as a wedding, although anything which is required for one's daily needs is permitted.
It is permitted to buy things in preparation for a wedding if they will be unobtainable after Tisha B'Av, or even if they would be more expensive afterwards. One may also make actual preparations or buy things for the wedding if there will be no time to do so after Tisha B'Av.
3) Only extremely urgent building work may be commenced between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av, but work which had already begun before Rosh Chodesh need not be interrupted.
However, work which is merely for pleasure (and does not involve basic amenities) such as decorating or renovating, may not be done at all during that period and, even if commenced before Rosh Chodesh, must be postponed, until after the fast. It is preferable not to have work done through a contractor either but, if one had already given the work to a contractor, it may be continued if he cannot be persuaded to postpone the work for a small extra payment.
Decorating refers here both to that done on the actual building as well as woodwork and carpentry to its fittings and fixtures, it also includes work done on the building with the intention of making it more spacious or luxurious.
Any work done on a Shul, however, is considered a Mitzvah and may be undertaken even on the eve of the fast.
If any loss would be sustained through not beginning in the nine days between Rosh Chodes and Tisha B'Av or if there is any danger involved (e.g. through allowing the building to stand in a dangerous condition) it is permitted to commence work. It is permissible for example to build a Ma'aqeh during that period.
Laws of Honoring One's Parents
1) One must be extremely meticulous in honoring and fearing one's parents.
Bet Din is not obligated to enforce a Mitzvah of which the reward is explicitly stated in the Torah, and thus a Bet Din will not usually compel someone to honor his parents. Nevertheless, if a Bet Din sees fit to to enforce it, they may do so, although the usual extent of enforcement -- until the person collapses -- is not observed.(Tur Zahav, Rishon L'Tziyon) However, if a Bet Din becomes aware that someone is insulting his parents, it is obligatory to prevent him.(Kneset HaGedolah, Annotations to Tur 1)
2) Fear of one's parents is defined as [refraining from anything which might be construed as a slight towards them] If one is in one's father's presence, it is forbidden to stand in the place that he stands when consulting or debating with his peers, or in the place that he usually prays. Neither may one sit where one's father usually sits at home, although it is permitted to stand there.
Even if one's father is not present, but others are, it is forbidden to stand where he stands when consulting or debating with them, as this would appear as an affront to him. Some Authorities forbid this even when no one else is present, and this opinion should be followed, as it involves a Torah commandment.(Tur Zahav, Rishon L'Tizyon)
3) A son may not contradict his father, or support someone else's opinion, or even decide in favor of his father in a dispute in the latter's presence. It is permitted to do any of the above if one's father is not present, but one should be as respectful as possible when doing so. For example, if one disagrees with one's father over a Halachic matter, and some other scholar also disagrees with one's father, one may express one's opinion in favor of the second scholar, ut one should avoid mentioning one's father's name.
Some Authorities forbid contradicting one's father even when he is not present, but it is definitely permitted to discuss Torah study to reach a true understanding of the Halacha with one's father, even if this involves disagreeing with him.(Pischai Teshuvah 1)
4) It is not permitted to refer to one's father or mother by name, after theri death, and one should say "my father and teacher so-and-so" or "mother and teacher" (cf though, below #5 that it is not strictly necessary to use the word teacher.)
if one's parent has an uncommon name, one should alter it somewhat when addressing others of the same name. If they have a common name, it is not necessary to modify it when addressing others of the same name, if the parent is not present.
Some Authorities permit addressing others of the same common name as one's parent without modifying it, even in their presence, and also permit using an uncommon name without altering it when they are not present. However, we who have accepted the ruling of Maran z"l must avoid this.
It is permitted to read Torah and Talmudic texts in one's parents' presence, even though the text includes their name, and even though the name may be uncommon, as it is obvious that one is studying Torah and has no intention to refer to them.
In his work Mekabziel the Ben Ish Hai concludes that it is not permitted to read out in one's parent's presence a personal letter which mentions an uncommon name shared by them but, if they are not present, and and the contents indicate that they are not the subject of the letter, it is permitted to read it out loud.
If one's parent has an unusual name, it is permitted to mention that name, provided the context clearly refers to someone else, and provided one uses the second person's surname as well.
When signing one's name it is permitted to write one's parent's name without any title, as this situation is not equated with speech. Some meticulous people are particular to add a title, such as mentioned about #4, although this is not a Halachic requirement. However, when writing to one's parent, one must address them using a title, and so also when mentioning their name in letters to other people or in records of one's business transactions.
5) Although it is mentioned above that one should refer to one's parents as "my father and teacher so-and-so" or "my mother and teacher" it is not strictly necessary to add the title 'teacher' as the word 'father' or 'mother' in itself is sufficient title, as we find in the Torah (Bereshit 45:8, Malachim II 5:13) and in the Gemara (Yuma 87) The Rishon L'Tziyon cites another example from Malachim II 2:12)
It is customary, however, these days, to phrase the title as given above #4 in the more prestigious manner, even though several instances may be found in the Gemara where this custom is not followed (Baba Batra 56b, and Pesachim 112) Nevertheless, nowadays, that the longer phrase is in common use, it is correct to use it, {as its omission would imply a slight}
The Gaon Hidda z"l writes (Yosef Omez) that it is immaterial whether one places the title before the name or visa versa, as both are found in the Scriptures (Malachim I, 2:25, 2:32)
In his work Mekabziel the Ben Ish Hai writes that even though Shlomo HaMelech names his father without any title (Malachim I 2:33) He proposes that this is because he mentions his name in prayer, and it is accepted amongst the Achronim z"l that this is permitted. Even though the name David was unusual during his lifetime, and we may presume that it did not become common until after his death, it would still have been acceptable to mention it in prayer.
However, the question arises why we find that, when the Patriarch Yaakov mentions his father and mother, he does so without using the title.(Bereshit 49:31) and, even if we should suppose that the names had become famous and widely spread by then, it is still difficult to understand why he did not use any title. By way of explanation the Ben Ish Hai proposes that since everything the Patriarch Yaakov was speaking at that time was inspired by the Holy Spirit, he was forced to say only those words which he was instructed and, for some hidden reason, that was the Will of Hashem.
6) The Merest slight towards one's parents is forbidden. Thus, even if one were seated at the head of a prestigious banquet, dressed in the most exquisite clothes, and one's father or mother came and tore one's clothes, hit one and spat in one's face, one may not put them to shame, but one should remain quiet and fear the King of Kings Who commanded us to fear our parents.
7) The requirement to honor one's parents is defined as feeding and clothing them, and help them move about, or any other duty which a servant would perform for his master when required.
One is obligated to do this with a cheerful demeanour and, even if one should serve them each day the best food, but not do so with good grace, one will be punished for it.
Coversely, if one asks one's father to do hard physical work in order to spare him something even more strenuous, provided one explains one's intentions and demonstrates that one has his benefit in mind, one will surely be greatly rewarded.
8) The obligation to feed and clothe one's parents only extends to the physical act of waiting upon them, if they are able to afford the food and clothing themselves.
If they cannot afford to support themselves, and their son can afford to support them, he is obligated to do so, and Bet Din is empowered to force him to contribute as much as he is able, provided he has sufficient funds to support his own family for a month(Rishon L'Tziyon)
If the son cannot afford to support his parents, he is not obligated to go begging for them, although it is correct to do so if it is at all possible for him.
However, the physical obligations required of a child must be performed even if they entail loss of work, provided he has sufficient money to support himself for that day. If he has insufficient means to support his family for that day, he is not expected to wait on his parents and then to rely on charity.
9) In an instance where parents have no money, and Bet Din calculates their requirements and orders the children to support them, the financial capabilities of all the sons must be taken into consideration, and the responsibility is apportioned accordingly. If some of the sons are very poor, they will not be obligated at all, and only the rich sons will be forced to contribute.
10) If one requires help from someone, even though one knows that it will be granted for one's own sake, and one realizes that it would also be granted for one's father's sake, it is correct to request the help for one's father's sake in order to honor him.
(Some Authorities rule that, if one does not intend asking the favor or help for the sake of any particular person, one need not deliberately request it for one's father's sake.(Nachalat Tzvi) and they derive support from the Talmud (Brachot 28) in which Rabban Gamliel asked forgiveness from someone and, when not granted, asked again for his father's sake.
However in the Ben Ish Hai's opinion this is not conclusive evidence, as Rabban Gamliel was initially uncertain whether the person would grant his request for his father's sake or not, and was thus permitted to do as he wished.(Shach 240:8) Thus, if one knows for certain that the request will be granted for one's father's sake, one should deliberately mention his name, even if the favor would be granted without it.
Moreover, no conclusive proof can be brought from the story of Rabban Gamliel because he first asked forgiveness by admitting his guilt and only later, when entreating the other to forgive him, actually began by mentioning his father's merit.
Although Shlomo HaMelech did not at first invoke his father's merit when escorting the Ark of the Covenant into the Temple (Divrei Hayamim II 6:42) this was because he knew that the doors of the Temple would not at first open, and he would be forced to invoke his father's merit to demonstrate his righteousness. Thus, Shlomo HaMelech was particular to recite many prayers on his own behalf first, knowing that they would not be answered, before invoking his father's merit for which he was answered. In this way he emphasised the superiority of his father's merits over his own.
In the case of Hizkiyahu HaMelech, who did not invoke the merits of his ancestor David HaMelech in his prayer (Malachim II, 20:3) even though he was in fact answered in the merit of David HaMelech (Malachim II 20:6) this was because David HaMelech wasn't his father, and also because the Mitzvah of honoring one's father in this manner only applies when making a request of a human being, but not when praying.
Laws Pertaining to the Lavatory
1) It is forbidden to delay relieving oneself (Vayikra 20:25) "You shall not make yourselves abomidable." [Apart from that] deferring urination can also lead to physical injury and impotency.
Some people tend to be lax about this whilst studying Torah, or otherwise engaged, and attempt to complete what they were doing first. This is most foolish, since it is forbidden, even in order to fulfill a Mitzvah.
The Hesed L'Alafim z"l quotes the Kabbalists that, by being lax over this matter, one prevents oneself from attaining any sanctity and purity of thought. Thus, anyone who wishes to cleave to his Creator must make sure that his body is clean at all times; iti is also a healthy habit, and can rejuvenate a person.
2) [As soon as one feels the need to do so] one must immediately relieve oneself, even during the night, and one should not let the inconvience of the cold, rain or darkness prevent one from getting up.
[if one awakes from sleep] one should wash one's hands properly before getting up, as it is not permitted to walk for Amot, or wipe oneself, whilst the impure aura is still on one's hands. However, one may, not recite the Bracha after washing one's hands, since one's body is not clean. One should first attend to one's requirements, wash one's hands again as necessary, and then recite the Bracha Al Netilat Yadayim and Asher Yatzar. One should not speak between washing one's hands the first time and reciting the Bracha.(Shulchan Aruch of the Raz z"l 6:3)
3) If one is able to restrain oneself the length of time that it takes to walk a Parsa, one does not transgress the prohibition of "You shall not make yourselves abomidable" neither is there any fear or risk to health by no relieving oneself immediately.
Other Authorities take a more linient view that, as long as one would still need to make some effort in relieving oneself, one would not involve the prohibition of "You shall not make yourselves abomidable" One would only transgress that prohibition if one makes a conscious effort to restrain oneself.(Shulchan Aruch of the Raz z"l 3:11)
4) Tzniut requires that the lavatory door should always be closed when one is inside, even at night-time and even if it is pitch dark.
The Smag ztl and other Poskim HaRishonim rule that this is Mideorita. Even though other Authorities rule that it is only M'Derabanan, and it is only mentioned as one of the virtuous Jewish traits, it must still be strictly adhered to, since the more stringent opinion must be taken into account.
However, if there is a strong, unpleasant smell in the lavatory, one may leave the door ajar in order to alleviate it, but only at night-time when it is dark and one will not be seen.
(It should be noted that the demand for extreme modesty in the lavatory is not simply a matter of not uncovering oneself {as that in itself is not forbidden, when necessary} as we do not find a parallel requirement in the bathroom, for example. The reason is a Kabbalistic one, and is connected with the function of a lavatory, and the inpurity associated with it)
5) One should not uncover oneself until one sits down. Neither should one uncover more of one's body than necessary. It is correct not to uncover more than two Tefachim in front and one Tefah from behind.
However, the Hesed L'Alafim z"l rules that if the place is not clean, one may lift up one's clothes as much as necessary, in order to keep them clean. If the lavatory is enclosed, one may be even more lenient about uncovering oneself as much as is necessary in order to keep one's clothes clean. Since, nowadays, lavatories are generally enclosed, it is no longer cusotmary to be as strict (as in former times) not uncovering oneself.
6) Two people (either men or women) should not be together in a lavatory at the same time. The Hesed L'Alafim writes that even very small children should instructed to go singly, both in order to train them in modest behavior, and in order to prevent them from immodest behavior, as we find in the Talmud (Brachot 44b) that a woman should not relieve herself in front of a very small child.
7) If one has no alternative but to relieve oneself in an open place, one should distance oneself sufficiently from others that they will not be able to see one's uncovered body. However, one need not go completely out of sight.
If one is able to go behind a fence or building, one may even be so close to others that they are able to hear if one breaks wind, since the Torah does not constitute that to be a lack of modesty; it is no more than a subject of embarrassment to most people. It appears from the Gemara, for example, that it was not considered a subject of embarrassment. If one is not embarrased by it, one is not restricted by the Torah. (Shulchan Aruch of the Raz ztl)
8) The foregoing paragraph applies only to relieving oneself. One is [strictly speaking] permitted to urinate in public, even during daytime, since restraining oneself can lead to physical injury and impotency; on the contrary, it is forbidden to restrain oneself, but one should make an effort to find a secluded place in which to relieve oneself.(Shulchan Aruch of the Raz ztl)
9) In a place which is not enclosed, it is forbidden to relieve oneself whilst facing east or west. In an enclosed space, even a very large one, it is permitted in any direction.
If there is only one wall which runs between north and south, one may ease oneself with one's back to the wall from either direction [i.e. facing either east or west] since this is not considered an open space. The wall need only be high enough to ensure that one's uncovered body is not seen. Thus, if it is a low wall, one should get as close to it as possible.
Some Authorities are of the opinion that even in an enclosed space, one must not relieve oneself between east and west, and it is correct to take that opinion into account. In the community of the Ben Ish Hai; Baghdad, it is customary to build lavatories, whether inside houses and in courtyards, in such a way that those using them will be facing north or south.
10) One may not speak at all in the lavatory, even about secular matters, since the words themselves will become subject to the impurity of the place. It is, however, permissible to grunt, since one does not articulate words thereby.
11) One should clean oneself meticulously since, if even a trace of faeces remains, one may not pray. The best way to clean oneself thoroughly is with water. The Western custom to use paper only is not efficient enough.
12) If one had forgotten to recite the Bracha of Asher Yatzar after relieving oneself, one should not recite it with the Shem if half an hour has already elapsed. If one is unsure whether or not one has recited the Bracha, one should recite it without the Shem. In both instances, however, one should have the Shem in mind at the appropriate places.
If one relieved oneself twice, and did not recite a Bracha after the first time, one should still recite the Bracha only once.
13) If one has occasion to relieve oneself after eating, before reciting a Bracha Achronah, one should first recite the Bracha Asher Yatzar, and then the appropriate Bracha Achronah.
(The reason is that since the Bracha Asher Yatzar is recited more frequently than [any one] Bracha Achronah, it takes precedence over them)
14) Even though it is permissible to kill lice and wipe away urine with the right hand, it is forbidden to wipe away faeces, since this is regarded as disrespectful to the Tefillin which are put on with the right hand.
One should, instead, use the little and ring finger of the left hand, since they are not used for the Tefillin, if this is inconvenient, one may use any or all of the fingers.
Even women, who do not put on Tefillin, must also use the left hand, since their are other, Kabbalistic reasons which apply to women as well.
15) [After washing one's hands, one must recite the Bracha Asher Yatzar] Women should also recite this Bracha, and they should make every effort to learn it by heart.
[Od Yosef Hai 2] One may not do anything else whilst reciting the Bracha. Some people dry their hands, or wander around, whilst reciting the Bracha, and thus say it in an offhand manner, without paying the necessary attention to what they are saying. One must be very careful to recite this, and all other Brachot, with the necessary respect, but this particular Bracha appears to be more neglected than others.
It has great mystical significance, and everyone should at least learn the translation and simple meaning of the words.
[Od Yosef Hai 3] In this Bracha, we give praise to Hashem for having created us in the way He did, and having made us dependent on food and drink, and having given us a digestive system to process them. When one contemplates the wondrous manner in which the body functions, the way in which food and drink sustain us, and the way in which the body rids itself of what it does not require, one cannot but be amazed at teh infinite wisdom of the Creator who formed us.
Therefore, after having attended to one's bodily needs, which represents the end of the digestive process, one is obliged to give praise and thanks to the Creator 'who fashioned man in His infinite wisdom' in this manner. 'He created within us orifices' namely the mouth, and the various other orifices of the alimentary canal, and of other parts of the body, such as the ears and nose. 'He also created within us various hollow members' through which the food and drink pass, and within which they rest during the digestive process. The Bracha continues to relate how all of these are wonderously synchronised for, 'if any of them would close or open at the wrong time, one would become ill, or even worse' This, further, brings us to the conclusion of the Bracha, in which we thank and praise Him 'Who heals all flesh and who does wonderously' The bodily requirements are described as a continual healing process since, without the continued perfect functioning of the body, one would become most unwell.
It is most important that everyone meditate upon the meaning of this Bracha, until it becomes deeply engraved in one's heart. One should also devote time to teaching one's wife and family its meaning.
16) [One may not speak of sacred matters, or anything connected with Mitzvot, or mention the name of Hashem in filthy alleyways, or in the lavatory, bathroom or bath-house] This includes even referring to the personal names Shalom (which is one of the name of Hashem, as in Shoftim 6:24) or Abdallah (which means 'servant of Hashem' in Arabic) or the word Shabat (since it is written in the Zohar Hakadosh that Shabat is one of the names of Hashem)
It is forbidden even to think of sacred matters whilst in filthy alleyways or in the lavatory, bathroom or bath-house. One may not even think of anything connected with Mitzvot, such as the requirements of charity, Shabat, Matzot, or Araba Minim.
[Od Yosef Hai 4] There is an early custom of the very pious who, before entering a lavatory recited a short entreaty to the angels which accompanied them, asking them to wait outside until they returned. The poskim write that this custom is not longer upheld, because we are not worthy enough for the angels to accompany us. Nevertheless, other Authorities would prefer to continue this custom, supporting their opinion with the universal custom of reciting an entreaty to the accompanying angels before commencing the evening meal on Shabat.
However, this latter argument is unsatisfactory, as the angels come to hear our Kiddush, not to accompany us. Proof to this may be brought from another similar instance -- the ceremony of the Brit Milah, at which Eliyahu HaNavi is present, in order to honor the Mitzvah.
Thus, there is no reason to justify reciting this entreaty these days. However, one may say it should one wish, on Yom Kippur, the day of total forgiveness, one which we are compared to angels (through our refraining from eating drinking and intercourse) Nevertheless, it should be recited under one's breath.
Laws of Challah
1) The Torah commands us (Bamidbar 15:17-20) to separate the first portion of dough and, since it is referred to as Terumah, it must be given to a Kohen. This is also mentioned by the Navi (Yechezkel 44:30) Chazal specify that the volume of the dough from which one is obligated to separate a portion is at least forty-three and one fifth Betzim (2.5 kg) This is seven hundred and seventy-seven dirham(Hayyim L'Rosh pg 110)
2) Before separating Challah, one recites the Bracha "Asher Kiddishanu B'Mitzvotav V'Tzivanu L'Hafrish Challah Trumah" and then designates the Challah by saying "this is Challah" as the Ben Ish Hai explains in the Laws of Shabat HaGadol Shana Rishona Vol II Parashat Zav 19-21)
3) [The Torah does not specify the exact volume which must be separated as Challah, saying only (Bamidbar 15:20): "As the Trumah separated at the threshing-floor, so you shall separate this." Chazal specify the amount as one-forty-eighth of the volume.(see Rashi)
Nowadays, Challah is burned [rather than be given to the Kohen] and it is thus not obligatory to separate the exact amount of one-forty-eighth, although Moreinu Rabeinu The Arizal (Shaar Taameh HaMitzvot, Parashat Shelach) advises that the original ruling should still be observed. However HaGaon Chida ztl (Birke Yosef) writes, that he has never seen or heard of even the most pious person doing this. In his work Mekabtziel the Ben Ish Hai concludes that, since this ruling derives from the Ari HaKadosh one should observe it at least once a year. One should do it oneself on this occasion, rather than one's wife; moreover, since it is a Mitzvah, one should do it before Kippur, in order to add to one's merits.
4) If the dough will be later cooked or fried, a Bracha should not be recited when separating the Challah. However, if even only part of that dough will be baked, a Bracha should be recited when separating the Challah.
There is a difference of opinion whether Challah need be taken from dough made with milk or fruit juice and without water, so it should be separated without reciting a Bracha(Yoreh De'ah, 329:9, Levush, Orach Chayim 462:6)
5) {It is not permitted to separate Challah on Shabat}
If one forgot to separate Challah on a Friday, outside the Holy Land, it is permitted to eat the bread on Shabat, although one should leave a loaf or half a loaf of the batch in order to separate from it later.
In the Eretz Yisrael, [it is forbidden to eat bread from which Challah has not yet been separated] If one forgot to separated Challah before Shabat, and inadvertently ate most of the loaf, one must {leave the remainder until after Shabat and} separate Challah from it. In an instance such as this, where it is not otherwise possible, separating Challah from the remainder rectifies that which has already been eaten.(Birke Yosef, Perek 323)
6) If one prepares two different mixes of dough {one of from which cakes are to be baked, and the other, from which bread will be baked} it is not permitted to recite a Bracha and separate Challah from each one separately, as one may not unnecessarily recite the same Bracha twice. One should rather recite only one Bracha, and separate Challah from both mixes of dough at the same time.(Tevuat Shor 19:16; Levush Serad, Novella to Yoreh De'ah, Perek 119)
(Some Mevarshim rule that it is permitted to ask someone else to recite the second Bracha and separate Challah from the second mix (Mehoqeq Yehudah, Laws of Pesach 432:3) The Ben Ish Hai does not believe that one should rely on this ruling to recite an unnecessary Bracha, since the dough was there at the time the first Bracha was recited.
Even if one should try to get around this problem by making the second person an agent to separate Challah from only one of the two mixes, and one then separates Challah oneself from the other, it is still not adequate, as one Bracha could cover them both.